One week until Halloween, two weeks until my birthday. Am I prepared? Hell no.
My house is a mess, 11 YO has not yet decided on costume, I’ve got piles of promo items to mail to reader groups for my releases, can’t seem to get my new MySpace page to look even remotely nice (any MySpace gurus out there willing to help a peep out?), I just ate potato chips with my breakfast (my no-no food), and my allergies have not yet calmed down from my weekend of indulgence in TN.
I need a pick-me-up people! Off in search of something fun… I found this. I am TOTALLY a child of the 1970s.
Take a look at this list. If you can identify with more than half of them, you are a child of the 1970’s.
“All skaters, change directions” means something to you.
“Members Only” jackets…say no more.
Chevy Chase was really funny in those vacation movies.
If female: you thought that Shawn Cassidy was “dreamy”, lusted after “Ted, your ship’s photographer” on the Love Boat or Chachi.
If male: your first love was Marsha Brady, Jeannine, Samantha from Bewitched, Josie or any one of the Pussycat.
In your sophomore class picture, you’re wearing a shirt with the collar “up”.
It was a major accomplishment to get to the “Chase” scene in Ms. Pacman.
Leg warmers were cool.
Most of the fillings in your mouth are directly related to Bazooka or Bubble Yum.
Rotary phones.
Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you learned things like grammar, math and history. (A big hint here is if the only way you can recite the Preamble to the Constitution is by singing it.)
The Brady Bunch Movie brings back warm memories.
You can remember the words to the theme song of “The Greatest American Hero.” (”BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I’M WALKIN’ ON AIR… I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD FEEL SO FREE-EE-EE…”)
There was nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together.
This rings a bell: “and my name, is Charlie. They work for me.”
You actually believed that Mikey, famed kid on the Life cereal commercials, died after eating Pop Rocks and drinking a Coke.
You actually remember Benetton.
You actually remember Mr. Bill.
You can recite the Preamble to the Constitution, but only to the tune of Schoolhouse Rock.
You ever asked to be gagged with a spoon.
You ever had a Dorothy Hamill haircut or used Short and Sassy shampoo.
You ever owned a Donnie and Marie or Sonny and Cher poster.
You ever owned a set of “Pop-Wheels”, that handy little combination of shoe and roller skate that lasted about a year on the open market.
You ever wanted to learn to play “Stairway to Heaven” on the guitar and choreographed “Dancing Queen” by yourself in your room.
You know all the words to the double-album set of the “Grease” soundtrack.
You know who shot J.R.
You know, by heart, the words to Weird Al Yankovic’s songs.
You learned to swim at about the same time “Jaws” came out… and still carry the emotional scars to prove it.
You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache jeans were cool.
You recall when Love’s Baby Soft was in every girl’s Christmas stocking.
You remember “Friday Night Videos” before the days of MTV.
You remember Bo and Luke Duke, Daisy, Boss Hogg, or, worst of all - what Sheriff Roscoe’s full name was. (Coltrain)
You remember having a rotary phone.
You remember having to get off the couch to change the TV channel.
You remember that music that was labeled “alternative” really was.
You remember the days when “safe sex” meant “my parents are going out of town”.
You remember trying to guess the first episode of the Brady Bunch from the first scene.
You remember wanting to stay up to see Mr. Bill on Saturday Night Live.
You remember when film critics were certain that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON.
You remember when there was only “G”, “PG”, and “R”.
You remember when your cable TV box had a sliding selector switch and your “cable or VCR remote” was connected to the TV by a CORD!
You still wonder if Mikey died from a lethal cocktail of Pop Rocks and Coca Cola.
You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the mini-van and remember riding in the back of the station wagon trying to get passing trucks to honk at you.
You tuned in regularly to the adventures of the Bionic Man and Woman, Wonder Woman, and/or the Incredible Hulk.
You were not allowed to see The Exorcist, The Omen, or The Blue Lagoon when they came out.
You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on.
Your first musical purchase was an 8-track tape.
Your jaw would ache by the time you finished one of those brick-sized packages of Bazooka!
Your parents paid $2,000 for a top-loading VCR that was almost the size of a coffee table.
Your parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all the babes anyway.
You’re currently employed doing something that has absolutely nothing to do with your college major.
You’re starting to believe that having the kids go to school all year wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.
You’ve ever owned a pair of rainbow suspenders like the ones Mork used to wear.
You’ve recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phrases: “You know, back when…,” “When I was your age…,” or “When I was younger…”
