Beth Williamson’s Blog

This came from my peep, Janice.

They’re Back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. :doh_tb:
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The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. :lol_tb:
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. :guns_tb:
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you. (I can think of a few.)
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Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help. :huh_tb:
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Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: “Break Forth Into Joy.”
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. :laugh_tb:
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. :shock_tb:
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. (I wonder what they’re doing in the basement. :ohmy_tb: )
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. (This is my favorite! :smoke_tb: )
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours” :thumbup_tb:

Which Movie Star Are You?

Ever wonder which movie star you are most like? Don’t read ahead please!

Well, a team of researchers got together and analyzed the personalities of movie stars. The gathered info has been incorporated into this quiz. There’s only 10 questions so it doesn’t take long. Answer each question with the choice that most describes you at this point in your life, and then add up the points that correspond with your answers. You’ll need paper and pen to complete it.

I scored as Grace Kelly. Not bad. She was such a beautiful princess. :king_tb:

Don’t look ahead or you will ruin the fun!

1. Which describes your perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner for two
b) Amusement Park
c) Rollerblading in the park
d) Rock Concert
e) Have dinner & see a movie
f) Dinner at home with a loved one

2. What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll
b) Alternative
c) Soft Rock
d) Classical
e) Christian
f) Jazz

3. What is your favorite type of movie?
a) Comedy
b) Horror
c) Musical
d) Romance
e) Documentary
f) Mystery

4. Which of the following jobs would you choose if you were given only these choices?
a) Waiter/Waitress
b) Sports Player
c) Teacher
d) Policeman
e) Bartender
f) Business person

5. Which would you rather do if you had an hour to waste?
a) Work out
b) Make out
c) Watch TV
d) Listen to the radio
e) Sleep
f) Read

6. Of the following colors, which do you like best?
a) Yellow
b) White
c) Sky blue
d) Teal
e) Gold
f) Red

7. Which one of the following would you like to eat right now?
a) Ice cream
b) Pizza
c) Sushi
d) Pasta
e) Salad
f) Lobster Tail

8. Which is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween
b) Christmas
c) New Year’s
d) Valentine’s Day
e) Thanksgiving
f) Fourth of July

9. If you could go to any of the following places, which would it
be?
a) Reno
b) Spain
c) Las Vegas
d) Hawaii
e) Hollywood
f) British Columbia

10. Of the following, who would you rather spend time with?
a) Someone who is smart
b) Someone with good looks
c) Someone who is a party animal
d) Someone who has fun all the time
e) Someone who is very emotional
f) Someone who is fun to be with

Now total up your points on each question:

1. a-4 b-2 c-5 d-1 e-3 f-6
2. a-2 b-1 c-4 d-5 e-3 f-6
3. a-2 b-1 c-3 d-4 e-5 f-6
4. a-4 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-1 f-6
5. a-5 b-4 c-2 d-1 e-3 f-6
6. a-1 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-4 f-6
7. a-3 b-2 c-1 d-4 e-5 f-6
8. a-1 b-3 c-2 d-4 e-5 f-6
9. a-4 b-5 c-1 d-4 e-3 f-6
10. a-5 b-2 c-1 d-3 e-4 f-6

NOW, take your total and find out which Movie Star you are:

(10-17 points) You are MADONNA:
You are wild and crazy and you know it. You know how to have fun, but you may take it to extremes. You know what you are doing though,and are much in control of your own life. People don’t always see things your way, but that doesn’t mean that you should do away with your beliefs. Try to remember that your wild spirit can lead to hurting yourself and others.

(18-26 points) You are DORIS DAY:
You are fun, friendly, and popular! You are a real crowd pleaser. You have probably been out on the town your share of times, yet you come home with the values that your mother taught you. Marriage and children are very important to you, but only after you have fun. Don’t let the people you please influence you to stray.

(27-34 points) You are DEBBIE REYNOLDS:
You are cute, and everyone loves you. You are a best friend that no one takes the chance of losing. You never hurt feelings and seldom have your own feelings hurt. Life is a breeze. You are witty, and calm most of the time. Just keep clear of back stabbers, and you are worry-free.

(35-42 points) You are GRACE KELLY:
You are a lover. Romance, flowers, and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself. You are serious about all commitments and are a family person. You call your Mom every Sunday, and never forget a Birthday. Don’t let your passion for romance get confused with the real thing.

(43-50 points) You are KATHERINE HEPBURN:
You are smart, a real thinker. Every situation is approached with a plan. You are very healthy in mind and body. You don’t take crap from anyone. You have only a couple of individuals that you consider “real friends”. You teach strong family values. Keep your feet planted in them, but don’t overlook a bad situation when it does happen.

(51-60 points) You are ELIZABETH TAYLOR:
Everyone is in awe of you. You know what you want and how to get it. You have more friends than you know what to do with. Your word is your bond. Everyone knows when you say something it is money in the bank. You attract the opposite sex. Your intelligence overwhelms most. Your memory is the next thing to photographic. Everyone admires you because you are so considerate and lovable. You know how to enjoy life and treat people right.

Stole this from my muse sister, Sarah Dickson.

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE BUT…THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss.
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

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I thought that I could love no other.
Until, that is, I met your brother.

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Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.

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Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.

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Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you are not.

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I want to feel your sweet embrace.
But don’t take that paper bag off of your face.

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I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

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My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

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I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

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My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

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My feelings for you no words can tell.
Except for maybe “go to hell”.

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What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Look at what DH gave me.

A dozen yellow and one purple rose. :king_tb: I’ve never gotten such beautiful flowers on Valentine’s Day.

So, what else is going on? The Romance Junkies Valentine’s Newsletter! Along with a group of wonderful authors, I am participating in the special RJ Valentine’s contest. It’s kind of like a scavenger hunt. You must click around the pictures to find the authors and read about them. Each one has donated something special as a prize.
I’m not going to tell you where to find me, but go into each place and click all over to learn about the various authors and enter for prizes!!
Here are the entry rules:
To enter contests for the newsletter, the contestant must send an email to nlcontest@romancejunkies.com with the author’s or publisher’s name in the subject line. Answer the trivia question on the author’s page and please include your mailing address so if you’re chosen, we can email the author immediately. Each prize entry must be a separate email sent with the above information. Contest ends March 31, 06.

Monday must have a real self-esteem problem. People really hate Mondays, I mean with a passion. :annoyed_tb: So I figure Monday must not think highly of itself.
But alas, it is Monday again and I feel like I ran a marathon this past weekend. Not much rest, although I did get about 2000 words written so my game face worked. :grin2_ee:
I decided Monday was too blech, so I’m running a contest on my CowboyLovers group today. If you wanna join in, you have to join up. :wink1_tb:
Oh, and I have a tenative release date for The Education of Madeline from Loose Id. April 11! One week before The Bounty is re-released by Samhain on April 18!
Spring and summer are going to be hopping for me! I’ve got releases in April, May, June, July, and likely August and September too. Can you say busy? :bigsurprise_ee:
Anyhoo, hope Monday doesn’t kick your ass today. So far it’s doing a pretty good job on mine, and that’s saying a lot, it’s a big ass. :laugh_tb: